whoa i am rather tired now. and its such a waste to be tired now because it's just the start of the weekend, and my 'relaxing' time just started. or so it seems, because the last whole two weeks were an insane mad rush for the Capt'l event at Raffles city, and with all the hype about them releasing their new shares, the news has been endless and the clients, jumpy.

so the past 2 weeks have been an overload of work. and just when i thought that the past year in Tricom (yes it has finally been a year!) has made me seen all the toughest times, i was wrong. last week was uncomparable to any of the jobs i've had (not like i've a long record of it anyway, but bad enough) because i clocked in a full 7 day week with 3/4/5am every night and had to wake up in the mornings to be on time at work, cos i really couldnt afford to spend any more of my time sleeping and doing anything esle than trying to rush for the project. honestly, i never felt this stressful chasing time.

and so, just when i thought it was over, it never really was cos until today we're still getting calls from them and tying up all the loose ends, which never seem to get tied. but owell, it can only get better.

and in barely less than 10 working days time, i will be getting my busy singaporean ass off to america, which also means that in 10 working days time, jay will finally finish his papers, and it also means that he will start work in december for the holidays, which also means that i will not be seeing him for two weeks when that happens. ewwwww. not again!

and this week hasnt been the best, and it's been occasionally disappointing in certain aspects, and i think it's primarily because i had expected much more from this week and the things i had set out to achieve. nonetheless, i suppose it wasnt really THAt bad, because despite all, i managed to find time for other things, one of which was a lovely dinner on tuesday night to celebrate mom and dad's 25th wedding anniversary!

and i'm very glad that i'm finally able to treat my family for a brilliant dinner at ikoi and that they were ever so happy! it was a nice long, filling dinner with much laughter and surprises for my parents :) and i rejoice at how my brothers and i worked so closely to make sure no one was late, and to ensure that my parents wouldnt find out the place we were intending to take them to. it warms my heart, and i love my family :)

anyhow, like i've mentioned earlier, the weekend starts now. ánd there's a nice gentle seren feeling in being over at jay's place and jamming on his keyboard while waiting for him to step through his front doors and come home. ahh, i love inhouse dvd nights :)

finally had the time to give my two cameras a new look! got myself some fabric from KL cos it was so cheap there, and some crystal studs to bling and shingz up my konica holga! and i love how they turned out!

now, i just need to try out all the different film to see which iso is the best, and which film produces the best colour after cross processing. wow so much work and preparation for the usa trip! then again, no complains because i'm enjoying this process here and heck, i miss doing all the art and craft work!

Nic is very tired. Because the past few days have been spent up in KL for an event and trying to grapple with broken malay (not like I understand standard malay anyway). It’s been days of spicy food, teh tariks, and freezing air con temperatures although I was right smack in the middle of sunway lagoon. Then again, the weather has been so temperamental, you cant really trust a bright sunny day anymore.

I must make a mental note telling myself how so damn lousy Singapore’s hotel service is. And as much as it aims for being an international first class city, and now with the opening up of the integrated resorts, and seemingly new infrastructure and more transport routes, and the provision of more hotels to prepare for the influx tourists, I think our service sector leaves very much to be desired for.

You see, you can have all the infrastructure, and facilities and the technology in the world, but if you cant even have sufficient manpower because the economy is going on a ‘crisis’, and your service staff cant even greet their guests with a smile that comes for free, or your floor managers have no authority to make decisions onsite, or your banquet managers refuse to allow your service staff to exercise their common sense without micro managing, I think Singapore would be in such a sad and dire state.

Say whatever you want about Malaysia, about how their state is so underdeveloped compared to Singapore, and about how their streets don’t seem to have ample cleaners, but at the end of the day, you leave that city feeling better than you would have felt spending 3 hours in Singapore. Their ballrooms are so much more well maintained. They have polite staff that don’t need to be paid ten thousand dollars before they smile at you, they move when asked, standby punctually when told. Even though setup took twice the time Singapore would have had it, they got everything right in the perfect order, and were much more meticulous than those working in Singapore’s five or six star hotels. And would respond IMMEDIATELY when called upon.

Anyhow, I’ve also underestimated the shopping there in KL, I think for the primary reason that traffic is so bad and it’s so difficult to move around. So over the few days there, there was never a more satisfying past time than to squeeze in a couple of minutes for shopping every now and then. And what was even more gratifying, was how after buying so much, there wasn’t even a necessity of swiping cards for purchases, and so I stayed within my budget. NAISE!

All in all, it was an eye opening trip to work there, and I always feel that it’s through working that you fully integrate into the lifestyle of the citizens there and you start living like them. In any case, I am very glad to be back home in Singapore, where friends and family are here and they make me happier than my materialistic gains :)

I am trawling through the lomotion forum online, trying to find out reasons for my bad photos that came out of my holga, and I find loads and loads of other people’s beautiful pictures and it makes me very excited! Now I cannot wait to get home, to find out what film I'm on so that I’d know whether it will be a red/blue/yellow contrast when I develop my film.

And I have made a mental note to bring either my holga or my old film camera to the US! Can you imagine, I would have images of the magnificent grand canyon, and the blue hoover dam, and the insane shopping at the factory outlets, and neon vegas, and the golden gate at san Francisco, and the wall murals at los angeles, and the airy fairy Disneyland, and the cold prisons of Alcatraz, breathe! And I regret not bringing it over with me to Italy and Maastricht, where the sky was nice and blue and it was sunny and when it was SPRING! :( rar. Nevertheless, I had great pictures from the digi cam, and I can’t complain too much about that either! :) So for all, here’s a short photo visual of all the images I saw on the lomotion forum that really got me jumping in my seat.

the next time, it will be my own holga photos that i'll show you!

anyway, sidetracking, today's a good day because i dont have truckloads to do at work, and also cos i had a nice 9 hours sleep last night so i woke up feeling fresh today :) and i feel good today primarily because i'm going to meet jay later for a stomach loving date, where we walk around in our chi chi office wear because he'll be coming from an interview, and i will be coming from work. and it excites me because i think in 1 years time when jay comes out to the workforce, we'd be in corporate wear more than in our shorts and tee shirts. such a fashion change! (i sound like a bimbo)

anyhow, that's all for today. talk to you soon! :)

Work was mad last week, as in insane kinda madness that wasn’t in my control and I couldn’t do anything to prevent it, but wait for it to come and slam at me in the face. So I clocked in meetings during lunch times, and worked endless days and nights in office, and was barely at home. Waking up and dreading work was non-existent because every day was a marathon from the time I opened my eyes, and my mind would whirl around in exhaustive stamina until I concussed in bed. And then it starts again in the morning.

And during that week, I barely saw my parents and brothers even though we slept in the same house, and I think I greeted my cat more than any of them simply because she was nocturnal and was always at the entrance of my door whenever I came home. Meetings with jay couldn’t really be planned in advance because I could never know my schedule and I couldn’t anticipate if I would be ending late. Similarly, jay was equally as busy with his projects at school and with his quizzes. So you guessed, we didn’t really intend to meet at all last week.

But then, this bf has been my utmost joy, because at 1030pm at night after work, he pulls himself out of his house just to accompany me while I savagely feast on my first meal of the day (on food, and not on him). And on another day, buy me dinner and come all the way to office when he found out I had to work late (again), and then accompanied me till I ended. And on days when we don’t meet, our conversations make a bad day feel better, and I go to bed feeling much lighter and less burdened.

It is rather amazing that in a couple of days, it’s been 19 months long. I know it’s not even near half as long as other people out there, but it has never been this good with anyone before, at least not for a solid 19 months.

And so this Friday, when 19 months come by, we don’t have plans to do anything because I’ll be working in the day and he would be tied up with his endless project meetings. But I know when our schedules with other people end at 10pm, that’s when we’ll have our silent rendezvous, and we’ll just be happy enough without talking much because we’ll probably be too tired, and because there really isn’t a need to.

Okay, mushiness aside, I had a good time being alone yesterday, when I went to collect my pictures of my lomo, and went for my spa session. And at that point in time, there seriously was nothing better than self-indulgence. So I took my time to change out into my bath robe, got an incredible ginger scrub, and a full hour of jamu massage, and fell asleep at the masseuse’ hands. Woke up to steaming ginger tea and a smiling face telling me it’s time to go home. So I trod along in a slow momentum, took my bus and brought myself home to daddy and mommy. Spoke to jay on the phone before falling into an incredibly deep slumber. I was very very happy.

wow 12 days have passed really quickly and jay's now back from turkey. i think work keeps you so busy that you dont realise how fast time's passing by, and whenever everyone says that it flies exponentially after you pass 21, i couldnt agree more.

so in those 2 weeks, i got myself healthier and exercised at least twice a week. from hitting the gym or climbing stairs. i think last weekend was rather amazing cos i surprised myself from clocking in 5km on the treadmill, 2km on the bicycle and then weights on both sides. shangri-la rocks my socks and it has the best gym around. not to mention those sessions in the steambath and jaccuzi make you feel so incredibly detox after that.

so its been a tiring week and i am ever so glad that jay's back! and on thursday we got our new game, and last night, we spent time from 8pm - 3am playing marvel ultimate alliance 2. oh my. the poor eyes. i stumbled back home at 330am, crashed right into bed and wake up this morning feeling like a truck ran over my eyes. HAHA! but really, i havent done that in a super long time, and i very much enjoyed the hardcore gaming session with the bf last night. we stocked up drinks and cereal packets so that we could continue the night without stopping. not until my over-strained eyes started crying out for help. heh.

so today i wake up to rain and thunder and even more rain, and i squeeze my bolster tighter and find my warm spot back in bed. oh the heavens of a weekend!!! :)

mother sent me an email and it was lovely. of a poem that an old man wrote in a geriatric ward. nurses thought he had no known posessions, until they found this poem among his meagre belongings that he had. owell, dont know how true this story is, but a great poem no doubt.


CRANKY OLD MAN

What do you see nurses? . . . . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . . . . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food .. . .. . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . .. 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not .. . . . . . . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am . . . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . . . . . . who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . . with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. . . . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . ... . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . . . . .. My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . . . . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, . . . . . . ..Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . .. . . . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . . . . . and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. . . . ... . . . . . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone .. . . . . .. . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . .. A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . .. . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . .. . . . . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . .. . . . . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years . all too few . . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . . . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man . Look closer . . . . see . . . . . .. . ME!!


on another note, i was on the way to work today, and its either i woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or i ate something wrong, or listened to the wrong music on the bus, or saw a wrong scene, but i had such a revelation in the bus that engulfed me in emotional torrents.

and i think to myself, what am i really doing with my life? the past 2 years, i keep letting work consume me, and on weekdays and certain weekends, i sell my life to my job in exchange for an intangible hope of a more materialistic and 'better' future. and when i'm not slogging my ass away, i am finding all excuses and reasons not to get out of house because 'i am too tired'. and seriously, 2 years of all this has passed, and i cant see how i can do so for the next 40 years, because when i've finally reached the destination of being loaded enough (and when is it actually enough), i know i will look back and regret a million times a day how i could have traded my life for money, and not have done the things i could and should have done when i was 20s/30s/40s/50s.

i could:

take up ballet again and finish it off properly
take up salsa/ballroom dancing/hiphop/tap!
drink until my liver pops
go to launch parties and pump up a name for myself
be in the scene and be seen
make an effort to meet up those i havent seen in more than 1 year
be more enthusiastic about sports and exercise
be more proactive when it comes to heading out for whatever reason
be a fashionista and indulge in shoes, bags, and labels
amass a mini fortune of boarding passes
apply for a job overseas
take my masters
make an effort to mingle and talk to strangers

....have an empty bank statement and no future planning.

and with that, i rest my case.

tadah! as how it has been for a few nights since i got Selphy on Monday, i havent stopped rushing back to print out my pictures for my travel scrapbook :) so tonight again, i resume my sessions. and now for the benefit of my baby who refuses to believe that photo paper and ink cartridge for Selphy is so cheap, here's hard proof since you're not on the shores of sunny singapore:

and there you go, nice and big. it's only $37.90 for 108 sheets of 4x6inch paper and three ink cartridges! :) haha an average of $0.35 only per print! :)

anyway today, i felt my first tremour from a 7.9 earthquake that happened at west indonesia.we were all in office at 630pm and for a moment i was trying to shake off a giddy feeling when i suddenly realised it wasnt my eyesight, but that i was physically rocking. errr. we got quite panicky after everyone realised so, and i for one, was afraid because our whole building was made of glass from ceiling to floor, and it the building really were to give way, i didnt want the glass shattering all over me and scarring my for life :( hahaha

its quite amazing to know the thoughts that run through your head in dire situations such as these. and aside from the thought of shattered glass, we could even have time to discuss whether we should leave office or not. haha DISCUSS. i think if it were a realy earthquake in singapore, we would've all been dead or been scarred for life. as always, singaporean analyse until they get paralysed. tsktsk.

anyhow, we stayed put after the swaying stopped after 20 seconds. one of the most interesting 20 seconds in my life but i think experiencing it once is good enough.

ok its late. goodnight world.

i thnk my parents like it that i got Selphy. cos now after work, i make it a point to rush home to turn on my printer, and attempt to zap my images out over and over again. its astounding how much sweeter the memories are when you hold a tangible piece of it. that said, i am so very glad i got Selphy and cannot stop emphasizing on how great she is. anyone need printing? i charge 40cents per 4x6 inch! :) hahahahaha!

anyway for a hint of what i've been doing last night and tonight since i got back from a tiring day at work: print pictures! :)

come back quickly dar so that i can show it to you! :)

every now and then, i think it becomes a NEED to indulge in something. and since i was really getting kinda tired of my dated tech toys, and couldnt bring myself to shop for clothes since i would probably be doing so in US, i bought my latest and greatest gadget. Meet Selphy! :):)

snagged on ebay for such a brilliant price, i immediately made arrangements to pick it up after work. made a beeline for popular to get 108 sheet of photo paper and ink cartridge, and then after coming home, i printed out a nice lovely image for myself. and then 15 min into printing that, and approx 1/2 hour after experimenting with my new prize, i SPOILED it.

and it was miserable. i saw Selphy spit out rolls of cyan, yellow and clear film. her ink catridge was jammed and couldnt be expelled. i could switch her on but i couldnt unscrew her. and her damn manual wouldnt tell me what to do next.

one hour into all the pulling, yanking, pressing, and turning it in all angles trying to find out if there was a better way to handle her, she finally gave in. she had no more rolls of film to regurgitate, so when i pressed her lever, she ejected her cartridge. and then she was ok :)

so i fiercely snapped pictures of her, to put it up here, to show youwhat a brilliant creation she is! now i can print my own pictures in 4x6" size, and credit card size, and postcards inhouse! no more queueing up for damn photo printing and wondering how the pictures would turn out or how much it'll cost. ahas! like i've said, my latest and greatest!

to scrapbooking, here i comeeee! :):)

i would very much like to:

go for my spa massage and body scrub now, but the spa is closed on sundays..
do a manicure
get a hair wash
receive and try out my new canon selphy cp770 photo printer NOW
go out for a swim
go out and buy a new cardigan
save more money for my trip (ironically)
have a financial and material windfall
sit down at a coffee joint and read up on LA, vegas, and san fran
but my USA and Europe lonely planet books
begin a scrapbook of pictures
bake white chocolate muffins with my new muffin holders
get my pay cheque
develop the hundreds of photos i have without flinching at the price of it
go out into the sunlight for a trigger-happy phototaking day

and a ton of other things i feel like doing. but today is a lazy day and i just got home from work, so i think i shall seek solace is leaving my butt on my bed. furthermore, the weather is too humid to do anything at all. AND jay's online now :)

on another note, sometimes i really hate how f1's here. for all of my working life (which incidentally happens to be only for 2 years), its always been correlated to more work and burnt weekends :(

goodnight world, time to indulge in a 4pm afternoon nap! :)

there you go, the six hundredth blog entry. i have written 600 episodes of my life in here. someday i shall print it and put it in my diary so that they wont become lost memories. but that's if laziness doesnt consume me.

its a quiet weekend this weekend, or at least so for this day. cos jay's gone over to turkey last night, and will be there for the next 12 days. not always a bad thing being apart, cos these 2 weeks will be terribly busy for me, and to begin, i've got work tomorrow at 8am. and will likewise be so for the whole of next weekend.

anyhow in an aim to maximise the day today, i woke up at 1030am not feeling like it was even anywhere near that at all, scrambled out of bed to get out of house with my brother. and then i went to the bank, got my shoes to the cobbler, sorted out my mobile phone package, went to the library and finally satisfied granny's craving and bought her happy snacks. then i came home, had a hearty lunch, bidded for something on ebay, and then went to church for sunset mass.

came home, had dinner while watching the 7pm chinese show, settled in front of the computer and finished up whatever outstanding work i had to do for the weekend. and now, i'm free to rest before tomorrow starts, and i'm feeling a tad of loneliness here cos i was just getting accustomed to jay's presence every night over the phone, and having him be the last person i talk to before i sleep. and then almost 3 months after he returned home from holland, there he goes again.

it is rather amazing really, at how i'm reacting now to such situations. 3 years ago, i think i would have cracked up upon realising how much we'd be apart. but no, either maturity has forced me into a different perspective, but i dont feel so much bitterness from the occasional distance. dismay, yes, but no bitter feelings.

its a sort of warm fuzzy feeling knowing that by being so far apart, our love doesnt quiver, and we seek comfort in anticipating for the future. and i know, jay put me in a spot with high priority, so there isnt nothing to worry too much about. like i always say,

Wind is to fire like distance is to love,
it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.

and it truly is for you dar, it truly is.

it's saturday again. and i've had one great solid week that passed. its been a brilliant week since last weekend, and i havent had so much fun with such amazing camaraderie for some time!

lanxi was back in town just for 2 weeks so i think we tried to max it out as much as we could and tried to see her as many times as possible before she leaves us and go back japan :( so we stayed a fabulous pyjamas party (well sort of since we were sort of in our PJs), and we talked and talked and talked so much. but sorry girls for crashing so early into bed cos my poor eyes couldnt take it anymore from work. nonetheless, we had drinks the next night with jay's buddies, and it was a cordial but interesting affair.

and i think it brings our rship to a new level cos i never really quite had my girlfriends meet the friends of ex bfs, cos it never felt quite right. but i think last saturday, it was different. just different i guess. but it was a negative sort of difference, and it didnt feel too bad. it was perhaps a new emotion i felt, and if it didnt feel bad, it must've been quite alright i suppose.

anyhow, the only few pictures i have are here, and lanchi has the following. aside to ranchan, please give us the photos we took cos they were all so pretty! :):)


and so the week for work came by and it passed, and it wasnt all that bad cos most of the time i sat behind the screen of my laptop researching on the company trip, and i enjoyed it so! checking out on flights, and airport transfers, and vehicle rentals, and housing and accommodation, and public transport lines, and shuttle buses, and rules for customs and security, and places of interest, and things to do/see/eat, and scouting for addresses of factory outlets. ah there you go, the whole string of things i did in one breath. ahahs! nevertheless, had a number of meetings that left me feeling quite happy about myself and my work, and when friday came last night, i could never feel better about the long weekend happening now cos i think of the amount of time i had to myself, and it makes me such a happy girl.

and so last week, i did climb 60 levels in an attempt to train for the swissotel vertical marathon that's happening on nov 22, where i've gotta climb what, 72 stories? and honestly i think i surprised myself there. as said, i had expected my lungs to fail on like the 15th story or less, and my legs turn to jelly in 4 levels. but no. i climb 40 stories to the top of the building, took a lift down and could still attempt 20 more stories. ahhs. and just when i thought it was really over, someone proposed a jog around the estate. i was THIS close to death from suffocation. HAHA.

amazingly, the next day when i woke up, there were no signs of physical ache! woots. for a long while, i thought i had to walk like i had perpetual cramps between my legs, but no :) i woke up feeling very happy about myself that i'd exercised a whole lot, and wasnt aching at all! well i supposed it more of a cardio workout than fatburner so that was sort of good. so for the rest of the week after that monday, i felt good about myself, and my health. and yes, there wasnt any smoking for hmm, one week.

anyhow, i havent quite had cheese and wine for some time, and last night, jay and i did an enroute to holland grove for some mould-loving. an unusual group of people to have wine and cheese with, but with an empty stomach and glasses of wine, i think i forgot the awkwardness rahter quickly. so after having more than enough to drink and eat, i think we stumbled out into a cab and crashed over at jay's place. you see, that's what wine does to you. and i was a tad disappointed i couldnt bring myself to sitting upright and play devil may cry on his new ps3 :(
nonetheless, it was a good evening to just chill out and crash and then wake up next morning to greet the afternoon rain, and have tom yum spaghetti for lunch to fill the liquor-washed walls of my stomach. THIS is the weekend :) bring it on!

our happy red faces

was just in office today, and right throughout the day, there were email threads with my sa girls and it marvelled me how much we've all grown and how our habits have changed. right down to communication methods!

once popular friendster became msn, and then we now have work emails which everyone spends majority of their waking hours facing and typing furiously to. so today, we had very intensive (and entertaining) conversations through our work emails, and that amused me so :)

aside from this, work in this industry is pretty amazing. when people havent thought as far as october, we have our plans all sealed for the rest of the year. i know the weekends i'll be burning and have a rough idea of the weekdays that will leave no time for social life. i know the periods where i'll be busier, and those that would be so quiet cos i wouldnt be in town. so for those who would like a piece of me nearer the end of the year for christmas get-togethers, let me know approx 3 weeks in advance, or it would be very very tough.

anyhow, factory outlets, overweight luggages, poker tables, and golden gate bridge here i come!! HELLO USA!!

and my latest hobby: cramming into bed with the bf and spooking myself by watching crime and investigation channel. HAHA how exciting. like i've said, and will reiterate, nothing pleases me more than mundane moments. well ok, maybe HAPPY mundane moments. yeah :)

In an attempt to boost my fitness level and shave inches off my thundering waistline that cannot seem to stop expanding lately, I very enthusiastically volunteered to take part in the vertical marathon at swissotel on nov 22. And this is where I climb a friggin 72 stories, and because it’s a marathon, I’m supposed to climb that as fast as possible without having my legs buckle halfway or dying when I’m 8 steps away from the top (or even bottom). Seriously, WHAT WAS I THINKING?!!!

Because we now have a company pact to train one day of every week, and it just has to be on Mondays. And now that it is 4pm, I have my carbos from lunch sitting very comfortably in my stomach and churning in such a steady momentum that it rocks me to lullabye land. And the thought of climbing 60 stories on my first attempt is like, omfg…

So I sit here and mull my time away because its Monday, and because I am still too tired from the event that just passed. So I click away on Farmville, Barn Buddy, and all the other funny applications you have on facebook, and I do as much research as I can for the upcoming company trip which will take us half way around the world. I mean being so far away from home and from loved ones, I do want to make sure I milk the most out of it and enjoy every single minute so that I don’t mop in lonely silence wishing that I weren’t there.

Anyhow I don’t think I am in a super talkative mood today, but I think I’m in a typing mood. So when I’m not in a talkative mood and don’t feel like conversing with anyone, coupled with the fact that my fingers and thoughts are totally in-sync, I think this will prove to be a somewhat lengthy post with random bits of irrelevant information here and there about the more mundane things happening in life, since recently, mundane is an adjective that I’d like (to a certain extent) in my life. No fancy happening parties that make me feel 50 years old, no boring social conversations that make me dread every 2 minutes of my existence, and no more shifting of my comfort zone. Let me be boring, dull, and let me stay indoors and vegetate in bed. I seek joy in shuffling around in my home clothes, without your fancy mascaras and cakey foundations.

And through these 2 weeks of burnt weekends and squeezing in miserable time to see the bf, it comforts me so to be around his presence even when we’re both in separate rooms and he’s just doing his thing and me mine. We are 2 people living separate lives but sharing one same world. Ahahas! No I am not feeling emo, but my fingers itchy, and my mind, philosophical.

Ok enough verbal dumping here. Bye!

oh damn. i was just reading my previous posts and realized that indeed, it was only 2 weeks ago that i had my last hair treatment session. you see, the bf and i had an intense 1 minute conversation on friday on how it was just 2 weeks ago. but i, as self righteous as ever, insisted it wasnt so, and went ahead for one anyway.

haha ok ok you win baby!

As said, i think i spent half my weekend working, and another 1/4 of it recouperating from it. and since i was left with about 3/8 of it, i was determined not to waste it off and work up early on sunday morning to do a quick facial to perk myself up, got showered quickly and left home to meet jay.

and it was his turn to spend his day at work , and he was mightily busy too. but its a nice feeling to just be around him even though we dont communicate much cos he's so busy running around and getting his act together for the competition. nevertheless, we sneak in mini broken conversations here and there, and it made the anticipation for 7pm even greater. anyhow when we ended, we figured having a quiet time at home would work best for us since he was tired from work, and i was trying hard to cure a nasty headache and trying to kick off the final effects of severe fatigue.

so we had our favourite flavours of bubble tea and grilled ntuc mexican wings for dinner. we vegetated in front of the tv till 10pm watching my soppy weekend mandarin show. and when it was time, i grabbed a cab home to find everyone at home still awake, and i spend time with daddy walking on our side yard while he shows me how well our plants in the mini garden are growing, and i tell him how saturday's event went.

and this was all i did for the weekend, and in a nutshell, it was so spankingly good because all my parts are in place and my fulcrum is balancing so well that life feels so wholesome. and to think just about a few days ago i was whining to the boyfriend how depressed i get when i get envious of other people having better things in life. well materialistic thoughts aside, if the quality of life could be counted in coins, i would be terribly terribly rich.

like we say it, never better :)

happy birthday dre!!!!!!! i am sorry we havent had the time to see you this weekend and celebrate your birthday with you :(:( but lets meet up soon soon!

WOrk has been a rather tiring affair these weeks. And just yesterday I finally got a taste of how it feels like not sleeping for 48 hours straight and spending more than 40 hours working. So I go homeand crash massively onto bed for the next 16 hours.

Anyway blogging from the iPhone is pretty cool ad it reaffirms my desire to attain one but I can't bring myself to burn a hole for it :( jay says hi to all anyway!

Die bitch !!!

once of twice in your working life, and perhaps every now and then, i ask myself if i'm progressing at a rate i should be progressing at. whether i'm improving like how i'm supposed to be, and whether i'm doing the right things to earn myself a good future. i wonder if its time's up for me for a job, and whether i ought to be moving on to learning more new skills and trying to upgrade myself. and this week, i was there at those crossroads again.

somehow, it always makes me wonder when's the right time to seize opportunities that come by, and when are the moments that you temporarily have to let them pass in hope for a second better opportunity. i know the same opportunity doesnt knock on your door twice, but you never know if the next one will be just as good, if not better. anyhow, this week, i gave it up, again.

and just when i was all about being confused if it was the right decision, it was as if God was telling me something. because today, i encountered a client, which made me feel i hadnt learnt enough in my tenure here. so at the end of today, i am convinced that it isnt time for me to move just yet. i am still learning.

i spent the day today being the bf's biggest fan at the asian varsity fencing competition. and i'm really glad i spent the whole day sitting around and watching him do his thing, because really, prior to this day, i never quite knew what the heck fencing was about, and couldnt even distinguish the different blades, nor knew how to tell if someone was winning or not. never even knew what the rules were and what constituted in the winning of points, nor even how the attire was worn.

but today, i am very glad i was there, and aprt from cheering the bf on, there was alot to learnt from mere observation of how the competition was executed, and when the bf fenced, it forced me to understand how he scored/lost the point. in that way, i'd learnt of things i never knew about fencing.

but i think above all, what made me feel most glad about was just watching the bf. i mean after a year and a half, you probably thought you knew almost about everything of this boy. but no. as i watched him today, i finally saw the spectrum of colours he had. and then i felt i could now understand better the kind of closeness he shares with the rest of his buddies. he was so very at home with all of them, and it made me smile many times just watching him. he was happy today, and that made me very happy too.

i suppose i could never fully understand the ties that bind them cos it's a friendship that's theirs exclusively. but i'd say that it's a good bunch and good friendship like these go a very very long way. and i feel very happy for the bf that he's got such good buddies with him.

twas a good day with good company, and good food. dinner was a rowdy and intense affair with hungry boys and girls, and alot of meat to go around. and after dinner, though jay was terribly tired, he was being the sweetest and accompanied me back home. and by 9pm, there i was, a girl with a happy stomach and an even happier soul.

i had a good weekend this week. now i just need to win toto tomorrow. HAHA